Chasing the Light

[tracker7]

I don't often make a big deal about my birthday, outside of taking a few days off from work and either relaxing or hitting the road. It's just how I'm wired. My ACS team at work is pretty cool about it. Yesterday, though, my new teams did something that, in the great big scheme of things, is small, but it really made me happy. Cake, ice cream, and a little celebration in the afternoon. Completely unexpected, but very kind.

Today, of course, is Valentine's Day. I've railed against it, hated it, been ambivalent towards it. I sent Amy flowers way back when, and a few dinners and cards and other things with someone else, but Kathryn wasn't into Valentine's Day at all, and that godawful mess with Sasha had so many complications that even if I'd wanted to make note of February 14, I couldn't have without making things even worse than they were. 2009 sees me going down a path with #1 Crush - we're not together today, and probably won't see each other until I get back from Alabama, but I'm happy as the day is long that we've got places in each others' lives.

So, here's to Valentine's Day. Here's to romance and to love and to butterflies in the stomach and your heart racing when that particular name shows on your cell and to conversations that go into the wee hours of the night. Here's to what-if and promises and a boast that she's willing to call you on. Here's to having an ache from missing someone, and not wanting that ache to go away because even it feels so good. Here's to gentle touches and whispers and private looks and things that no one knows but you and her. Here's to knowing what you want, and knowing that any risk is worth it. Here's to trust and to someone placing the whole of their existence into your hands.

Here's to my crush.

Comments

[asimaiyat.livejournal.com]

of COURSE I am rooting for you. Tenken and I had basically all of RPGnet cheering us on in our crazy this-will-never-work crush days. To wit, from my lj in January 2005:

"ARRRRGH!

Why did I pick the absolute wrongest person ever to feel so perversely good about?! And why does he keep encouraging me in my wrongness?! I know there isn't any solution and I just have to suck it up and get over him, but DAMN I just feel the need to rant into livejournal. "

So it is just plain good karma for me to encourage and send vibes to you. <3

[tracker7.livejournal.com]

That? That is so darn close to how I feel about #1 Crush that it's a bit spooky.

I think you two are all kinds of terrific, and hope that maybe that lightning will strike over here, too.

[tegyrius]

Because wrongness already has...

[tracker7.livejournal.com]

The only thing wrong here is we reconnected in early '09 instead of a year ago.

[tegyrius]

Because now you're about to turn 37, which is a prime number. Which is like prime rib, except rib is meat and numbers aren't. But 37 is a television channel reserved for radioastronomy, which signifies absolutely nothing unless you're receiving the proper signals.